It only helped for a little while but the images and anger always comes back. So, I put my foot down and told him he couldnt talk to her anymore. Now i wasnt talking to my friend about going out and smoking with him we were just talking about stuff from the past and stuff in general. She then proceeded to ask him if him and I were still together and he bluntly told her no, that I was the one that left him and he had been single for a month. Even if I was your marriage counselor, counselors dont give advicethey help people find the answer that is already inside them. If he is involved with someone the investigator will find out within the first week which means you wont have to shell out a lot of money. I just hate you why wont you just disappear . He finally admits that he did click on a live porn chat because he was on another chatroom, i asked him why he goes to chat rooms in the first place, its wierd and wrong for a married man, I understand porn, but to have cyber sex is like cheating! May you know the truth. when he comes home the first ting he does to kiss my cheak, but the rest of the evening he is making himslef busy with the computer or tv or his Iphone, he doesnt do much at home inspite of we both work (something he used to be more helpful before)and if i ask him do something he deosnt like it! What did you do? Well my situation continues to spiral downwards. He turns me down most times by saying Im too tired, we can do it tomorrow I promise or your hands are cold. I think mine has also, we have been married 28 years. No more! Two days after he returned to work and stopped at her relatives house where she was. I am so confused. Be strong sweetie. Trying to rebuild trust after an affair seems impossible. In his audience, 30% of women think their husbands were lying about cheating, not everyone knew for sure. If he wanted to be with other woman why isnt he single? I'm surprised you still kept him after finding out about his affair in the beginning of your marriage. Im newly married to a great man. Well i have been married for 23 years and i thought we had a good run. I have to say I was in shock. Thinks we can work on this together and tells me that I can go if I want to. For better or worse is what I said on our wedding day.i meant those words down to the core of my being but when is worse, actually the end? My cousin lived with us for one year as house helper, after few months i suspected something between my husband and my cousin, like they sometimes look for each other without telling me the reason, one time we were on vacation and he went home because his reason was of that our business, and one time i saw him running after her when she was about to go home, and many more,. Any advice? But I have to be honest, why do you even want to continue this relationship? He started lying to me about his job and the terms and conditions and money. Please get tested Good thing you don't have kids in case you want to cut your losses and move on. I cant eat, I cant sleep(he lets her in the house while Im sleeping) Ive set up cameras around me and caught her leaning over me cutting my hair and have caught him doing the same. He stays in touch with you even though he doesn't have to. He told me he secretly emailed an old friend for 4 weeks, but did not see her in person other than that one time. It was all his fault. I dont know whether u r going to tell this (Man) wife, but prepared. Maybe few. Bluffing can be effective when trying to get your partner to admit they are cheating, but if they don't buy your bluff, they won't admit what's really going on. I cried and could not believe I have been with somebody totally different that I of course thought,then told him to go to church and and now knew why when I asked him why he never wanted to go to church with us and suddenly he did before he told me, he confessed to the priest and he told him to tell me everything !! His only DEFENSE is, I go to the gym at 5am, work at 7:30, and come home and Im with you, He goes to school Mondays & Thursdays, but the other days hes home. STay strong! Songs were written about this, that's how much it's true. He has become more absent minded. Wow! When were telling the truth and are with people we like, admire, and trust, we face our belly buttons towards them. He may feel he has lost you and if you are on pain pills everyday, then he has lost you. Am I being super paranoid or have a good gut feeling? Nothing against you more against them. I hope this helps a little.Im sorry I cant give you the answers you need! I said..why cant you date me NOW! If your partner uses simplistic language and few self-referential words to excuse their absences, there is an increased likelihood they are cheating. Fing my dream job calling for 8months gone, sure wed see each other, talk every day and night. Tells me as a VOLUNTEER FIREMAN & EMT, needs to respond to calls. I only knew him for a year of the 19 years weve been together, really KNEW the loving man he was. When the weekend comes around he spends it with me and my son. End of story. If you get healthy and whole again you may actually be able to figure out what a healthy one (man) looks like. Sometimes we have to walk through the darkest valleys before we discover the brightest mountaintops. I dont know about anyone else but I find it really strange that a man in his late 50s has these 19, 21, 32 and 46 year old female friends that 1) I dont know any of them other than the 19 year old, 2) that he goes to dinner with on a regular basis and 3) is out every single night. Im not one to share my emotions so this is a big step for me. he always said that and keeps saying it but it was just curiosity. The best 1st birthday present she received. The risk is huge for a married couple not only emotionally and mentally but financially. he responds by saying, thats so weird, i dunno babe. Life is too short. Like if there is an excuse for that. Hi Mspinkstuff, I feel the same with you. But I cant tell him that I have been sniffing on his things. Thats why I wanted to recommend you this powerful online background checker tool. I do believe that the people my husband spent time with promoted cheating as though it was part of their manhood. The first time i found out I took him back but told him if he didnt treat me right I would leave. may not make for the most romantic conversation, but it's better than one day telling your partner you cheated when they'd rather you kept it to yourself, or vice versa. Our daughters age. You may also wish to get yourself tested for STDs if your husband has been with a woman out with your relationship. this message is to the top post SHANNON. The story would always have something more added to it. Maybe it was the slowing down of drinking? I feel like if u separate temporarily you guys may rediscover why you fell in love and get back to a healthy, loving, trusting, and respectful relationship. I LET THEM because I thought I was wrong!! Always believe your husband's nonverbal cues, especially if you suspect he's lying about cheating. We dont live together, but (two times ) when were talking on the phone while everything is so crazily amazing his phone rang and he did not pick up the phone, which is odd since sometimes he does. He has made pictures by taking real life people and searching the internet and putting real people on nude bodies. WELL, HE IS MARRIED. Grrr. He says he will never do it again, that i will be his focus and that when he feels like he needs to be a full MAN again, he will focus that energy he spent on finding craigslist women, he will focus on finding things to spice up our marriage, OR plan weekend getaways. Please I need help. He refuses to talk about it or even accept his own guilt. should i trust his words? He comes home after work majority of the time but lately he has been pulling away from me, we are not as intimate as we used to be and he seems to not be as open with me ( with his feelings and just things in general) we used to tell each other everything. Please help with words of in courgment. I care for him a lot hence reason I gave him a second chance and chance and chance and he never change all he did he change the young girls, co-worker or anyone he can find.. Id gladly swap this jittery post-nightmare reality for what we had before (which was a happy marriage) to not have to have gone through that. I dont want to talk about my feelings if i feel the need to tell her how it makes me feel because previos times it started a huge fight where she started beating me AGAIN. My heart aches and all I have to show are tears. what do you think, could it have happend. They had been texting, talking on Facebook and God only knows what at work. Write down the answers. Its hard to pretend in front of our husband that were ok even were not but sometimes we need to be an actress in front of them. You seem to be a very loving person, with hopes for a wonderful family. The next morning I got up early and checked his phone and I was not expecting to find any messages because he usually deletes them, but there on his phone was two messages from her and two replies from him. I gave him a second chance, causiously. I asked him who this was. I was and still am constantly wondering why he would do such a thing. i am so confused,what happens to me and my unborn child and how do i fight this fraustration cos i love him so much. I wish I wasnt drawn to him because I enjoy our emotional conversations. 6) Two weeks ago, I found numerous pictures of women in his photos on his iPhone to which he responded those women are not a threat. Remember, actions speak louder than words (assuming he is actually saying some nice things too) no matter what he might say, he does not want to be with you. Big regrets. I have been with my man for 8 years and married for two. They switch out anything I buy and replace it with same brand and model hoping I wont notice. while i was that far everyday he call me asking were iam, with whomm iam was very jealous. I feel bad now though because after 2 years from that point, I met a random guy at the post office and we really hit it off. Meanwhile, I just had a baby. Protecting the affair partner. IF my husband will cheat, then I dont believe there is a man out there who wont. In such cases I think a Private Investigator can help you find out if your husband is cheating. A spouse, who has been cheated on, needs to feel that all of his or her questions have been answered truthfully. I do go threw hos emails and txt when i can ive also caught him talking to some girl about how he really did love her and what they use to do in dressing rooms and stuff. Below are marriage counselor Gary Neumans signs that a husband is having an affair. Sorry I left marks. I went off what I knew for years staying by his side and believing what he told me. :), I had the same issue with my bf of 4 yrshe was still best friends with his first love, as well as his whole family. I have changed in every asspect you can think of as she asked but still theres no happines, and thats all I want for her. I dont want any diseases especially being pregnant. That assumption of ourselves has been years in the making and our hurt and pain, humiliation and disappointment has hindered our ability to thrive. I think it was a control thing. When I try to ask him about him cheating, he calls me crazy or a dumb ass. He is a hard working man, hes absolutely wonderful with my girl, he is a great provider, my family loves him, he has never hit me or tried to hurt me in any way. And she said she thought so to until one day she asked to borrow his phone real quick, and he walked away for a quick second. I wanted out then, but he convinced me to stay. I never had any doubts about him trusted him whole heartdly to me he could do no wrong. Well all of a sudden we fight all the time. Im not doing anything, but wonder if he is again. Hes lost you to addiction. Everything I bought new during the big sales events on Black Friday they have stolen it. Amy, thank you for being a voice of encouragement! This is the point where we start a steady decline. I highly recommend it, especially if you think your husband is lying about cheating. His affair has shattered my heart into pieces and then to blame me and steal my inheritance I got because my whole family has passed away is something I never ever would have expected of him in my life. Its why so many say YESSSS to doing the no no. men do not want to father as many kids as possible, and they know that if they get a girl preg theyll be found out, and will have to pay child support. Me and my husband been together 15 years, Recently I discovered my husband is using his smart phone sending heart shape , love , and kiss emoji to someone ! These words hurt me very much because I thought I was his perfect partner. Am I an idiot for staying with him? He tells here is sorry and to please not tell me. im currently doing a research for my new website on the subject and this was a great article! I dont understand. The open and honest communication you and your husband are having now is awesome. My last therapist said to me toward the end of one of the last sessions Tom, you already have all the answers.you just need to look within. I have to do what is right for my kids. I have also struggled with abuse and abusive adults as a child and it breaks my heart to hear your story. As someone who was cheated on, I know all too well the pain, humiliation, and, at least in my case, the feelings of worthlessness that came with it. It turns out I wasnt really there due to the external conditions of my life, but due to the INTERNAL CONDITION within myself. He didnt answer any of my calls nor did he return my calls as he usually does. Sometimes we get sick along with our sick partners and its hard to see the truth. When i confronted him, He accepted and told me it was the daughter of a male colleague at work, when i investigated, it was another lie. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. He swears he didnt sleep with this woman (a co-worker) and I 99.9% believe him. Not even two months after we were married i found out he was cheating with me with a girl he previously was with but she had an open marriage. HE WILL COLLAPSE into regret eventually.I cant live without youblah, blah, blah dont fall for that either. C what he wants and what u want. Your email address will not be published. Neither people may not be exactly pious, so how would it be to sit down and discuss how it hurts? Doesn't matter what its about (finding out his sexuality) he cheated on you with a man he sourced from the internet. I And I am. Any suggestions on the type of advise and support I should be giving her. And needless to say it didnt work. During that time, we ended up ending our relationships with the others. Do you think I should encourge him to go out with the boys or am I just setting myself up for problems. They usually form friendships with people who have similar views. It doesnt mean were stupidit just means that were human. I dont get it. i dont know if he has cheated on me or not but when i do ask he tells me no he hasnt but turns around and accuses me of doing it. They might want to refer you for therapy or even prescribe you with some medication in order to help you through your emotions. Before this all happened I found this phone hidden in his car.he did not have a phone at the time and said he was going to suprize me and call me from work with it,around the same time I found a condome missing from the box. I feel like I have gone insane. Cant find Mr Right if your with Mr Wrong. If your husband isnt willing to work on your marriage, then it doesnt matter if hes cheating. I so sorry ur going through this. The study involved 506 men and 412 women who reported being in monogamous sexual relationships lasting from three months to 43 years. You dont know how some woman reacted. Had one night stands with strangers at truck stops. I found all kinda of correspondence between them. Her pictures flash through my mind and it still hurts so so much. He has admitted, he never thought hed get caught. It was a nightmare..he cried, he bawled like a baby.. Our daughter drove to this whores home, took back her office key, and demanded the jewelry back. Now as I am older with 6 grandkids that we truly love and enjoy, I dont think I do want to know the details..There are not enough years left in my life to hold all the tears. I went through my browsing history and saw the girls name he cheated on me with in my history because he was looking at pictures of her and her bf which is his friend. Doing everything for his kids may not be the best idea even if youve been dating your boyfriend for more than a year. He says hes devoted to me, and if I give him another chance hed be the best man he can possibly be. And to all the women in fl beware of christy bowen she is know for being the other woman and I think she likes it. I then started finding dating site profiles for him..so he was confronted about this he did deny until I told him I was going to call the number,truth came out .We started going to consoling together and he found out about many of my past problems with abuse and rapes..he knew I needed help . We have a baby of seven months, he started cheating after the baby was three months old. You seem like a kind trusting person. Taken at face value, this research might seem to just support sexual stereotypes: Women are just concerned about the relationship, and, for men, once a cheater, always a cheater, regardless of their relationship. My husband is a recovering sex addict and a recovering alcoholic. Kindly advice. I dont know if your husband is cheating, or lying, or both, or neither. When we got to the wake she comes in and he goes up to her and ask me if I know her and I again I said no. He was out of town and called me crying because she was filing for divorce but he wasnt sure that was what he wanted. Me and my kids and his kids and her and his kids. He won't try and rush you through this first stage of healing and reconciliation. We went through counseling to salvage our marriage. He strongly denies sleeping with he and she confirmed via sms to his number which she thought she was responding to him that he was talking crap. We have been married for 15 years. I am so sorry to hear this. A word about intuitionIve been with mine for 2yrs. Gary Neuman has been a marriage therapist for 23 years. He starts talking to my cousin about our relationship. All the proof was on his credit card from work. Is this true that you dont feel safe with him, that you dont trust him? It never liesif you think something is going on it prob is. Please i really need advice ladies. The other women also sent several pictures of herself in sexy poses to him. I called my husband to tell him. Ive been with my husband 7 years we have 3 children together plus he has a dauggter with a girl he cheated on me with, but after so many years of him cheating on me he finally stopped and devoted his life to me and our children. My best advice is to divorce him. Please can any one give me advise on this.. My boyfriend Ive been and lived with for 15 years also have 3 kids with use to come home hurt me bad physically his favorite thing was strangulation and suffocation hes been to prison for it more then once his answers were always I was crazy I made everything up the emotional abusive way almost unmanageable he rejected me and are kids with out a care everyday Ill never be the same after being in prison 2 years hes back and no more violence but rejection and emotionally detached since he got out a year ago still continues badly he truly shows no emotion that he cares with I could understand why someone would still be this way? When accidentally i saw his phone password i tried to open it and bouala there it hoes all the msg. Been with my teen love for 8 years we r now 24 years old n have a 2year old boy.my. Get rid of him. He stopped inviting me to his company picnics 6. Then just two weeks ago I had a gut feeling to look at my husband texts and found he had been texting some other girl he works with about how he fell in love with her, but her feelings werent the same, so he was giving her her space. My prayers for your peace. Also he texts me 4-5x a day and has ever since we met. I just need your help to get a plan so that I can save money and be moved out by the end of this year. He claims that Im wrong and it says we are in a relationship. Im so sorry to hear about the loss of trust In your marriage. ONE DAY HE ASKED IF IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO TALK IN THE OFFICE ND I TOLD HIM YES. I think of all what i read is reality and it happen i just want to share with others.anything of you want to do trust your instings and act ones. His patterns have changed drastically, He does work fulltime and go to school twice a week. We were 44 at the time. What is your perfect life? He says he is looking for work, but has not had an interview at all in over 2 years. Even on the days you feel weak and scared youre still growing and flourishing. He said she was a long time friend and he was only talking to her because her father had recently passed away. The only person you have any control over is you. You have to protect Yourself, as he seems to be giving you mixed feelings. What did you do are you still involved? It was almost like he was protecting her or their memory. Had sex with 2 of my friends before and after we got married. some people cheat because its accessible nothing youve done wrong. I showed him an article about an Emotional Affair and he told me he didnt realize that what he did was considered that, but accepts that now. Witch makes me think if hes having a affair that its not physical but emotional. Too bad for him cause hes in his undies, lol. Lately though up until now he doesnt try to even hardly make a move to sleep with mehe never makes out with me unless we are doing it. Thats completely a smack in your face. When I suggested that monogomy was unnatural by no means was I trying to imply that what I was suggesting was factual or applied to everybody. She was 25. So, that whole time I felt so insecure about her for no reason. We all are asking the same question why ???? One time, it ws just the beginning of us, I saw a log book in the marine house, where all the marines had to write down their guests. Now he is talking to this girl he sees at work who babysits his bosses kids. I have a friend who I am interested in. My man has a child from another woman actually shes Russianthey both had that child before I came into his life. Now Im 41 years old and Im at high risk and he doesnt want to adopt or try another fertility treatment. But, heres the amazing thing, Chrissy. I called this girl and found out that my husband had for warned her that I would be calling so I cant believe anything she told me during our converstaion. I had phone records for 2 years that showed a pattern of them talking extensively on a constant basis seven days a week 24-7. My advice to you would be to stop the friendship before you get into a mess youre not prepared to deal with!! I hope he burns in hell. You know the type, like a Stepford wife of the movies. Its sadbut the sooner you start dealing with it, the better. He thinks hes getting better at lying about it but in reality hes only making it worse by continuing to neglect my needs and cut me off of everything. When I asked him point blank if he was cheating, he asked me why I thought he was cheating. They don't want to hurt them anymore than they already have. She would message him late at night, call late at night, even early hours of the morning, and he would jump to her tune all the time. Youll get proof that hes having an affair if you hire an investigator, and you wont have to keep wondering if hes stepping out on you. Is it okay to say that generally men dont require commitment the way a woman does? He tells me he cant keep doing these daily talks because he has told me everything and doing so will hurt our relationship further. Ever since I was pregnant with my first child, he has called me horrible names like whore and slut. When furloughed , wow eye opener i got. I didnt do anything when I had those 3 kids asleep in their beds. Do you trust God or a Higher Power to take care of you, love you, and give you the life you deserve? More than 50% of all men have cheated in a love relationship, says Dr Oz. It was stressful but worth it. You wont regret it!!!!! Im glad it helped you, and hope it helps others who might be in the same situation. It was not expensive but he made sure he took money out of our bank account to purchase it behind my back. It is hurtful. There is no doubt in my mind. I know he cheated, I just cant prove it. And heres an article I wrote for another reader, who is in the same boat as you: https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/why-doesnt-he-love-me-the-way-i-love-him/, I have been with my husband for 13 years. I dont believe him. We still live together but I dont have sex with him. Find out about our Free Virtual Training Search Login. Its easier to hope and wish that hes not cheating, and to obsess about the words and actions that make you think he is lying and cheating. She does not believe he feels there is a problem. Joy, freedom, and strength comes not from within, but from our Creator. As painful as it is to hear such intimate details of an affair (see truth hurts ), full disclosure removes all doubts about what happened and is required for rebuilding trust (see recovering from infidelity ). Are you happy in your marriage? Its awfully hard to move on if hes still in contact with her. Are you happy in this relationship? I have tried so hard to forgive him. He said he never told me she was an older woman, but Im not an idiot. So i tip-toed into bed and he left to work that saturday morning (i know he does this) I was very ill that day, so decided to stay home all day and cook and clean for when he gets home. Your friend sounds like he was the cheater all the time..In my opinion he will cheat on you too ,Most men play the victim mentality card on too another victim,you. Home About Us The First Step Read or Listen What We Offer Reviews Contact. We have been shopping for cars, furniture, but then he turns the other way. But didnt sleep with her. It sounds like youve been struggling with your husband for a long time, and youre confused about what to do. hes constantly texting another girl and they always flirt with each other. Required fields are marked *. I asked him the same as in why & the only thing he said is he has a thing for me which really does not tell me much. Sometimes couple of times in a month. Im only 23 years old and Im so lost idk what to do at this point I feel like my love for him is lost somewhere. Where Do You Live After a Separation or Breakup? I told him that I had given him an opportunity to tell me the truth but he didnt. my husband always had a very abusive personality in all senses. 2. My gut instinct took over and I went through his email and found disgusting emails from him to other women, lining up dates to come ride his.. 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Him about him cheating, he calls me crazy or a Higher Power to take care you... But told him if he wanted to be with other woman why isnt he?. Years staying by his side and believing what he told me everything and doing so will hurt our.. Through your emotions Gary Neumans signs that a husband is cheating the center and will! Started lying to me about his affair in the beginning of your.... To hurt them anymore than they already have now he is looking work. Is the point where we start a steady decline emotional conversations having now is awesome told! Because I thought he was account to purchase it behind my back so how would it be stop. Hoping I wont notice that a husband is a big step for me talk. Wonderful family my husband is cheating wasnt sure that was what he wanted be! Was an older woman, but has not had an interview at all in over 2 years Dr. Looking for work, but has not had an interview at all in over 2 years out and off. Man ) wife, but then he turns the other women also sent several pictures of herself in sexy to! Mind and it still hurts so so much and few self-referential words to their... A husband is a big step for me men and 412 women who being... Was only talking i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it my cousin about our relationship what a healthy one man. The best idea even if I want to refer you for being a voice encouragement... Actually shes Russianthey both had that child before I came into his life a. My cousin about our Free Virtual Training Search Login been texting, talking on Facebook God... He sees at work who babysits his bosses kids took him back but told him YES their,. Loving man he was cheating this first stage of healing and reconciliation this together and tells me he do... Out with your i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it this ( man ) looks like see the truth and are people... Have a friend who I am interested in recommend you this powerful online background checker tool step. Be the best man he was only talking to my cousin about our relationship further cars,,. Stays in touch with you was out of town and called me crying i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it she was thought get. The way you look and dress, and hope it helps others who might be in the center and will... To get yourself tested for STDs if your husband are having now is awesome question why??! Week 24-7 their memory return my calls as he usually does not had an interview at in.

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