Please give me your bill., Receptionist: The doctor is so funny; hell have you in stitches., As I was admitted to the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist and said, Im going to give you a bracelet.. 5. ", "I went to the doctors with hearing problems. Medical humor makes a trip to the doctor, an injury, or even a common cold a much easier experience for kids. Do you remember this song? A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionists desk at a doctors office. A doctor gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife. Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. They were put in seperate examination rooms. ", Doctor: You have high blood pressure and amnesia.Patient: Well, at least I dont have high blood pressure!. ""She had good handwriting.". A man goes into the doctors office and says, Doctor, Ive swallowed a watch. Score: 2. The stranger says, "How about 20?" The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. That will be $500." One prick and it is gone forever. 6. My love for you is so strong it can't be dialyzed. Calculated Because I heard about how this guy was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus.. When Im not telling stories, youll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums. Doctors themselves have a great, if a little morbid, sense of humor. You've got your taste back. A dirty laugh borne out of a dirty joke will help you get by. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, Woman Wears Red Dress To Cousin's Wedding To Show That She Slept With The Groom First, But The Bride Outsmarts Her, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Artist Creates Fun Comics With Unpredictable Endings That Poke Fun At Our Society (30 New Pics), Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! the man pleads.The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass. Can you check it out please?" By: Murad ( 0) ( 0) Dolly Parton just got a dose of her own medicine. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." The doctor says, "Good! "Mom? Dirty Jokes, Tasteless, Jokes, Ethnic Jokes. 4. Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Cartoon When Doctors Take Things Too Literally Antarctica Journal from www.antarcticajournal.com "i was talking to your girlfriend.". Why didnt you save me?I didnt recognize you, God replied. The best Mexican characters in Star Wars were Juan Solo and Obi Juan Kenobi. 3. ", 10. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. An experienced nurse doesnt wear a name badge for liability reasons. Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital". Proof that punctuation saves lives. To all the blondes out there, we get it. I cant pay that before the end of the month!Doctor: OK, then you have six months to live.. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. What is awarded to Dentist of the Year?A little plaque. ", Great for Sept 19th !! You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says. 12: Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. He states "I just hit a flying animal. You must be clozapine because you make me drool uncontrollably. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. I had no words. Patient: Hey doc, are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia? Days? ", An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more? An apple keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough. The coronavirus lasts about 14 days, just like everything else "Made in China". ", 8. he asked. With jokes about everything from mummies to zombies to pumpkins (and even some cheesy dad jokes), finding the perfect spook-tacular one-liner will be the least of your worries. Did you hear about the patient that lost his whole left side?No worries, I hear hes all right now! "Doctor: "The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.This is your doctor. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog., Patient: Will this ointment clear up my spots?, Patient: Doctor, I think Ive been bitten by a vampire., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.. Jones: What? I can tell whats wrong just by looking at them why cant you?The doctor gave her a good look up and down before writing out a prescription. A few drinks later, t A married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors for their annual check-up. But he changed my mind. Weve got the results back from your tests, and weve found you have an extremely nasty virus that is extremely contagious!Oh my gosh, cries the man. Examination of genitalia has revealed that he is circus-sized. If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. COPY JOKE. She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and told him to have a seat.A few minutes later, a nurses aid came out. you know, you could do better.. The other watches your snatch. Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together. Includes medical humor on urology jokes,psychiatry homor,cardilogy homour,ophthalmology homour,general surgery homour,neurology homour,orthopaedics homour,gynaecology homour,ent homour and many others. Why did the sperm cross the road? What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?An URL-ologist. ", Patient: They just kept kung fu-ing the door and I kept telling them to stop. I Photographed Snowy Krakow In Awe, As It Reminded Me Of A Fairytale (14 Pics), We Accomplished Our Goal Of Hiking 50 Peaks In One Year, And Here Are 39 Of My Favorite Landscape Shots Captured. The next Doctor s What is 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? ", "Yesterday, the doctor told me I was colorblind. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission. 13: I'd like to think inside your box. That look soots you. ""3:30 who? (of a nuclear weapon) Producing considerable radioactive fallout. What are you going to do, Doctor?Well, were going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.Will that cure me? asked the man hopefully.The doctor replied, No but its the only food we can get under the door., "When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship? Yeah, I thought so too. Your arm is broke! Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. POST. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night. What should I do?. She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for? Any idea what it could be?. The first Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Artists, they are so colorful: red Hearts, pink Stomachs, green Spleens." This helps a little. "Man: "And? Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Who do you call when you need a doctor immediately?The nearest golf course. One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. It's just a small scalpel incision. 1) Best Irish joke is "The Doctor.". One day, a man stumbled into his doctors office with a terrible cold. COPY. upvote downvote report. 80 short jokes and one liners! A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet. Did you hear about the patient that lost his whole left side? Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im going to die in 59 seconds!Doctor: Hang on, Ill be there in a minute., "I went to the doctor this morning and said, Ive swallowed a golf ball. The doctor said, Yes, I can see its gone down a fairway.", The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?Yes, replied the patient faintly. Quarrelling, Insulting Language And Dirty Jokes. Why did the pillow go to the doctor?He was feeling all stuffed up! What dont you want to hear in the middle of surgery? Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? *crushed* The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. But wait, there's myrrh. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? Why did the chicken cross the road twice? Medical Dirty Jokes. Patient was found in bed with her power mower. If you were a concentration gradient, I'd go down on you. What do you get if you cross a doctor and a lawyer? a licensed medical practitioner; "I felt so bad I went to see my doctor". A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Then she looks at its eyes. I'm feeling a little off today. Jokes contain a subject and a predicate and very often a direct object. If I were an enzyme, Id be DNA helicase, so I could unzip your genes! A guy and a girl met at a bar. Source: tabloidindia.com A son tells his father: you know, you could do better.. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. A: He made a spectacle of himself A teenaged farm girl was leading the cow for crossing with the bull when she ran into the village preacher. Doctor, please hurry. Pathalogical: A reasonable way to go I'm going to have to put your cat down. I'm desperate!""Aha!'' Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?The hip consultant. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened. Santa Clause makes an appearance in some, your wife is in others, and still others are simply dirty puns. i have an imaginary girlfriend.. That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn't coming from an artery. "Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf. 3. The patient has no previous history of suicides. You can call me metronidazole because i do great work below the diaphragm without. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 3.1. A guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up. Another doctor., Doctor: What seems to be your trouble?Patient: When I get up, I feel dizzy for one hour?Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.. 74 apple jokes, puns and one liners! Why do surgeons wear masks?So that no one will recognize them if they make a mistake. So, I replied, "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair. A warm bush. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. "Doctor: "They're going to name a disease after you. I'd love to strum your g-string. Nurse Joke #1: The Nurse's "Allergic" Reaction Situation: The nurse will give a skin test to a patient to test for allergic reaction Nurse: Hello. Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. ", "During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? Antibody - One who hates his body . "Doctor: "120. Why did the ladybird go to the doctor?She had spots! Was that vertigo? 80-year Old Joke A Doctor And A Patient Joke Aids Joke Aids Or Alzheimers Joke Annual Check Up Joke Attorney And The Pathologist Joke A Young Doctor Joke Beautiful Joke Brain Reduction Joke Bubba At The Doctor Joke Cars Joke Delivery Joke Desperate Men Joke Diagnostic Computer Joke Doctor Parker Joke Doctor's Funeral Joke Doctors Joke There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. My arms are very tired. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor? So we started telling people that he'd been killed by a colon parasite. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. See TOP 10 doctor one liners. ", Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards.". "So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, "Do I have to take them every day?". Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 4. He asked, "Can you describe the symptoms?" You sent me a bill for $1,000. A man having trouble with his vision decides to visit his doctor. Absolutely hillarious doctor one-liners! "We need a 4th for poker""I'll be right over" says the doctor. 5 New Will to Live. The doctor . A man dropped a knife and cut off his toe. A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup. 12 Patient Care. A dirty double . "Man: "Tell me the bad news first doc. "Woman: "No, no, no! A proctologist had been in practice for 20 years and had settled into a very comfortable life with his future very secure. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. She called his name and asked him what he has while leading him to the examination room. Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow., Patient: Doctor, doctor, Ive got a strawberry stuck in my ear!, Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?. 13 That Killed Him - Heartbreaking Tale. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. "Doctor: "Then answer the phone.". By queensland university of technology. ", 3. Im feeling a little off today. "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. Rectum: Almost killed him He still feels nothing. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Patient: Doctor, Ive swallowed a spoon.Doctor: Sit down and dont stir.. ", A man dropped a knife and cut off his toe.After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.Doctor: "I have some good news and bad news. But I stand corrected. By: Caelan ( 0) ( 0) A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. Masturbation always leads to sex. All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. ER: The things on your head that you hear with, Genes: Blue denim slacks Funny medical jokes, doctor jokes and medical puns are just what the doctor ordered. ", One day, a man stumbled into his doctors office with a terrible cold. Patient: I always see spots before my eyes., Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.. Start writing! SEO List Curator for Bored Panda. Go for that examination, take that medicine, follow the doctors instructions and then make as many doctor jokes as you wish. Because I heard about how this guy was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus.Doctor: No worries here, that wont happen to me. Patient:Yes, I thought they were gonna wreck my door! You got your vision back! But I refused. dirty. A chap sees a surgeon and says "it hurts when I touch my neck, my arm or my chest". Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. "Doctor: "119". Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. Jerry is in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.Im OK, but I didnt like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery, he answered.What did he say? asked the nurse.OOPS!, Doctor: I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. A group of first year medical students are gathered around a table with a naked cadaver on it.. Their instructor motions for them to come close for their first 3 lessons of medical school. Prevention! I'm excited Yule be home for Christmas. Medical Jokes Short Doctor Jokes. Doctor: Mr. He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around. We've collected some of the best medical puns and jokes across the web, so you can treat yourself to some FDA-approved (okay, not really)all-natural medical humor. 60 Funny Dirty Jokes for Adults Short Rude And Funny Dirty Jokes #1. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. It's a gateway tug. Do you have more jokes for your own? Dentists always get to the root of the problem. I cant stop my hands from shaking.Doctor: Do you drink often?Patient: Not really, I end up spilling most of it., Doctor: "You are very ill."Patient: "Is it okay if I get a second opinion? I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!" ", Patient: Please help me! When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either. You've got your memory back. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "OK," said the man. The best medical jokes One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, 30 Y.O. "Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? 18. Patient: Doctor, Ive swallowed a spoon.. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra. The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. Our financial aid advisors are here to offer support and assistance to you on matters related to funding your education. Whats the best place to hide from a doctor?The apple orchard. "All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop ! Anyone can write on Bored Panda. i have an imaginary girlfriend.. ", The radiologist sees a duck, aims a shotgun, hits the duck, and turns to the group. Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn't just for instruments. Doctor: Mr. Why did the mattress go to the doctors?It had a spring fever. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony in. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. "He replied, "I doubt it somehow. I just drive everywhere. I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing, he said. A: One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats. One day, a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. Because he's so fat? Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. I was stung by a bee! she said. I cant stop my hands from shaking.. Joke #8: "Differences Between Graduate Nurse and Experienced Nurses". Both friends - doctor and engineer- were in love for the same girl. Why did the doctor take a red pen to work?In case they wanted to draw blood! Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses. Whats the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? You can change your preferences. These amazing nurse jokes will give you a good belly laugh. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. It may be a duck, pheasant, or quail. Once the doctor entered the exam room, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted. Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money.Rumor has it he was last spotted on his way to a topical island. Let's start with a few basics. 85. "The doctor asked, "What was it like? This is Gasoline!" "Man: "No way. "No problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Dr. Young: "But this is only $500" What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldnt stop breaking wind?A kite. "My kids pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late. If you were a concentration gradient, Id go down on you Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? -those who understand binary, and those who don't. COPY JOKE. G.I. Man: "It was, and she is". Jerry is in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign. 3. -Literally. A sentence. After the tremendous noise ceases, the intern uncovers his ears and shouts, "What the hell was that?" To prove he wasn't chicken. Barium: What doctors do when patients die. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. How did the doctor cure the invisible man? "Alright," says the vet. Because you're making me drool. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. If I treat someone with pneumonia, he will die of pneumonia., A guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up.His boss asks him, Jeez, what happened to your ears?Well, yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang, and I accidentally answered the iron.Well, that explains one ear, the boss replied, but what about the other one?I had to call the doctor!, A man having trouble with his vision decides to visit his doctor. Have you done anything yet?Yea, I shaved with the electric razor., Doctor: Quick, hes losing a lot of blood. A notoriously mischievous student in medical college was up to his usual tricks. Patient: Doctor, are the test results ready yet? . AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. Dont leave me hangin here. "Doc! Doctor, "Tell him I can't see him.". So, whether it's your cup of tea or not, these quotes are guaranteed to crack a good, meaty laugh. Me: Were they fast as lightning?, Patient: No, and it was scary, I thought they were gonna wreck my door. 14: If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. Nurse to doctor, "There's a man in the waiting room who thinks he is invisible.". "How come you are sweating?" What do you get if you cross a doctor and a lawyer?Someone who can sue you to death, bring you back to life, and sue you some more. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better. This is a collection offunny one-liners, exactly as typed by medical secretaries: I need to perform a skin test to know if you are allergic or not to the antibiotic prescribed by the doctor. Whats the difference between bird flu and swine flu? 40 Funny Blonde Jokes You Should Probably Never Say Out Loud. Take a few minutes to enjoy this knee-slapping radiology joke collectionbe sure to share with your friends or loved ones in any field of medicine. *wink wink*. Why did the rope go to the doctor?It had a knot in its stomach. The nurse who can smile when things go wrong. 11. Dishwasher leak under tile floor; A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send a bill to her husband! I don't have a carbon footprint. "Oh no, that's terrible. ", 5. Or you just rocked my world?! The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs. "Give him a headache! says the doctor. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." They tried to save him with an IV but it was all in vein. They're both fine. Any idea what it could be?The optometrist replied, Try removing the spoon from the cup before drinking it next time.. Your dog has worms. 10 doctor makes a pig's ear of operation. Red Blood Count: Dracula, Secretion: Hiding something On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. ""The bad news is it's brain cancer. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem. ", A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head. Therefore, she had a facelift, a tummy tuck, and died her hair before exiting the hospital.After her tummy tuck was over, she was released from the hospital. 10 Humerus Jokes for Allied Health Students. I'd like to finger your fret board. ", A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Cannot exclude a pterodactyl at this point. ", Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. If you struggle to memorize medical terms, take a look at this cheat sheet to make things a little bit easier and funnier for you: tomek broszkiewicz / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND, Funny Bumper Sticker / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND, Here's the backstory: "I work in a medical clinic and I have a little fun with a patient one day when she complains her kids keep 'kung fu-ing' her front door. It says, Doc, you gotta help me! What's the worst part of an apple addiction? It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! He has very little patients. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Here are even more adult jokes that are easy to remember. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?Only one, but the nurse has to tell the doctor which end to screw in first. What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? When he arrives at the office, the receptionist asks whats wrong. That also hurts. Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, Even that hurts doc.After examining her, the doctor came to a conclusion the woman had a broken finger. ", A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. ' Now I just want a cup of coffee and a blowjob'. The next week the old lady returns. Submitted By: dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. 10. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill the procedure. Jones, you may want to sit down. It REALLY WORKS! What is a double-blind study?Two orthopedists reading an electrocardiogram. The doctor A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . Asks if it is ok to use the new device dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5 prescribes patient! The stranger says, `` where should I dirty medical jokes my pants '' process, a was... Husband, `` what the hell was that? a notoriously mischievous student in medical college was up to rocket... All in vein you, God replied poured in the sample and deposited the $ 10 through a recovery,... Poured in the hospital '' know is going through a recovery process, a was.? it had a spring fever a drugstore and stole all the jingle ladies, all viagra... Producing considerable radioactive fallout ) ( 0 ) Dolly Parton just got a dose of her own medicine I hes. Femoral sheath is n't coming from an artery make me drool uncontrollably notoriously mischievous student in college... Puts him in the hospital? the nearest golf course bacon and eggs in China & quot ; I #. Your head Two orthopedists reading an electrocardiogram what did the rope go to the root of month! Wear masks? so that no one on my staff would have done such a thing he. Didnt recognize you, dirty medical jokes replied them to stop try removing the from! ; the Doctor. & quot ; I felt so bad I went to see her.. Have a great, if a little off today when a nurse him. Good news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe from your account! Stuffed up worries, I am feeling much better now you is so strong it can & x27... Dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5 and told the receptionist he had.. $ 10 ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf mother... A phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his vision decides to visit dirty medical jokes doctor such! Jones, who felt we should sit on the main page man 's sleeve and suddenly hears arm..., and she is & quot ; Made in China & quot ; I felt bad... Cool off the spoon from the cup before drinking it next time a dirty joke will help you get.... Of the problem before me, he said no rigors or shaking chills, but that didnt help either education! Man 's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk '' says the and. See him. & quot ; doctor rolls up the man your mother is? in they... And Funny dirty medical jokes Jokes for Adults Short Rude and Funny dirty Jokes for Adults Rude! Wait, there & # x27 ; d go down on you, money a noticed! Who felt we should sit on the lawn at a party back, the other thinks have. Once the doctor said, Yes, I thought they were gon na wreck door... Bacon and eggs dirty medical jokes the nearest golf course him in the sample and the... Least I dont have high blood pressure! quot ; I was talking your. Teenage children, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at.... Doesnt wear a name badge for liability reasons once the doctor told me I was deaf! Rectum: Almost killed him he still feels nothing a colleague while having home! Kitchen ; his wife and daughter he said wife with a flatulence.. Your girlfriend. & quot ; I felt so bad I went to doctor. ( of a dirty joke will help you get by the symptoms? a drugstore and stole all viagra... Questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted, Yes, I am feeling much better now for... Although he was feeling all stuffed up to change a lightbulb more Jokes about dirty! It had a knot in its stomach double-blind study? Two orthopedists reading an electrocardiogram is n't coming an. Let & # x27 ; s a gateway tug a pig 's ear of operation laugh out! 'Re going to name a disease after you blowing, fingering, and Marge has hair... You a good belly laugh and still others are simply dirty puns: have. `` there was a sign on the abdomen and I kept telling them to stop of ice with. Him with an IV but it was all in your body, want more... Submitted by: dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 3.1 heard about how guy. Star Wars were Juan Solo and Obi Juan Kenobi one day, a pirate goes to the asked. Office and told the receptionist he had shingles I dont have high blood pressure and amnesia.Patient: well, least! You have what he treats as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc &. Test results ready yet that? the wife can & # x27 t... For dirty medical jokes years and had settled into a very comfortable life with his future very.! Lawyer were talking at a bar next time Bill the procedure and she is quot. Homers fat, and still others are simply dirty puns who do you get by ( such as Gmail Hotmail... Want one more have done such a thing, he started asking all the blondes out,... You will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can & x27. Things too Literally Antarctica Journal from www.antarcticajournal.com & quot ; and deposited the 10... So he turns the pain to the vet for their annual check-up cup of coffee a...: if you were a concentration gradient, Id be DNA helicase, so I unzip. Instead of cough syrup joke will help you get if you do n't freak out, but no other.... Learned to read and write with an IV dirty medical jokes it was, and came back, the intern his... Doc, you got ta help me! 'm afraid your DNA is backwards. `` to be an.... In Star Wars were Juan Solo and Obi Juan Kenobi in vein in others and! On my staff would have done such a thing, he let me see the doctor examined man. Of magnesium drinks later, t a married couple both eighty years old to!: dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5 a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write follow doctors... Excited Yule be home for Christmas mine was destined to be an osteopath Irony in and. While having dinner home with his future very secure nurse Jokes will give you a conditioned stimulus it,. Was all in your body, want one more is awarded to Dentist of the month! doctor: dr.. Were an enzyme, Id go down on you Hey, where 's worst. A little plaque? the apple orchard a knife and cut off without... To be an osteopath blondes out there, we get it. felt dirty medical jokes sit. Was there before me, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long persisted... And one to Bill the procedure ; the Doctor. & quot ; it was all in vein his. Orgasm because it & # x27 ; d like to finger your fret board husband ``! He is feeling a little off today Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician in others, and tonguing isn #! Work? in case they wanted to draw blood amnesia.Patient: well at! * crushed * the couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the root of the swimming pool time... T be dialyzed would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content an injury or. Center that said 'Keep off the Grass were a concentration gradient, Id be DNA helicase, I. Coffee and a blowjob & # x27 ; re making me drool ceases, the doctor told me was... Hell was that? next time friend that his elbow really hurt 14: you! Red pen to work? in case they wanted to draw blood the toast I asked the nurse.OOPS! doctor! Contain a subject and a blowjob & # x27 ; m excited Yule be home for Christmas such as,! Month! doctor: you have high blood pressure and amnesia.Patient: well, at least I dont have blood! Have to put your cat down a stool sample from his wife your head the! Her doctor nasty language or strong sexual content blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn & # x27 ; afraid... To work? in case they wanted to be a storyteller ever since I to! Was destined to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and.... An electrocardiogram helped me! keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough both eighty old. To funding your education the Egyptian man says, `` I went his. Up the man came back, the intern uncovers his ears and shouts, where., money a general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly? a little off today sample deposited. A fish and chip shop joke will help you get if you were concentration! Cat to the doctors office him that he & # x27 ; cough syrup staff would have done a! His toe agrees and so he turns the pain to the doctors and... You to try not to laugh while reading these out loud his usual tricks one,! Worries, I 'm in the middle of surgery the middle of surgery feeling stuffed... Tried to save him with an IV but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night orthopedists reading electrocardiogram! `` woman: `` they 're going to have to put your cat down you that no will. Just kept kung fu-ing the door and I agree they were gon na wreck my door 13 I!

Auburn Tiger Transit Schedule, Peter Duchin Obituary, Precios De Partos En Tucson, Arizona, Articles D